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A one-sided effort can't improve a problem-plagued marriage. "If one is gun-shy, or not on the same page emotionally, there will be disconnection." Recognize if you're alone in keeping the marriage afloat and seek a pro's help in getting your hubby on board to repair what needs work. Assumptions breed hostility, says marriage therapist Carin Goldstein, creator of Be The Smart
"Instead of creating a dialogue with your spouse, you're writing the script in your head," she says.
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Whenever I've talked or written about rediscovering the joy of sex in my mid-50s - and continuing to enjoy it now that I'm over 60 - I've been praised by some for my honesty. My husband left me when I was 55, after a 23-year relationship in which, during the latter years that we were together, the sex had dwindled away to the point where I felt there was a gaping chasm between us in the double bed we still shared.
And it ought to be acknowledged as a lifetime, not just a primetime, pleasure.
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